Lying to be ACCEPTED...
Oct 16, 2019
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_zcuktPubk

hey you guys welcome back to my channel
if you're new welcome to my channel
[Music]
oh you guys it is what today is Tuesday
it's my house is Friday guess what I
tried yesterday so I went to Walmart I
did pick up a few things like salad side
things like to go in the salad
so anyways while I was at Walmart I was
like I really thirsty and I want to soda
us so bad however I've been doing so
good I'm not drinking soda so I was like
what else can I get that would have like
that not the flavor of soda but just a
fill of soda so I walked by the soda
Department and I seen the brand bubbly I
think that's what it's called bubbly I
think so
bubbly bubbly shum food right there and
anyways and they're just apple well this
one's Apple bubbly apple flavor with
other natural flavors sparkling water
they are zero calories zero fat zero
sodium zero everything which is nice
because a lot of that I'm finding out a
lot of the flavored waters unless you're
just hitting the drops which I have
those too they contain sodium even diet
sodas I did not realize the amount of
sodium that they all carry and because
my body is very sensitive to sodium yeah
we'll just say that um why is there tape
on my computer okay that was nice um
anyways because there is sodium in the
different sodas and drinks I have to now
be very cautious when I'm running to go
and drug you know grab something to
drink because the sodium is ridiculous
so anyways I got one of these well I got
a pack of they come in like an eight
pack is the one that I got and honestly
they are worth it like I I'm enjoying
them
nice thing about it my babies don't like
it so I get something of my own oh my
gosh yes I'm a mean mother yes yes yes
say it say it just say it if you have
not tried these and you like sparkling
water now you have to kind of have the
mouth or like the taste of it like it's
got that sparkling water taste I know
before I assume I could not stand the
taste of sparkling water but I seem to
grow like a tolerance for it and now I
like it now oli was like what is that
you know and he wanted to taste it as I
go for it
oh I thought my husband was going
doesn't blow it out of his mouth he was
just like disgusted by it so yeah pretty
interesting I've had a lot of people DM
DMing me asking me because they had seen
a message on Pam talks a comment section
talking about a lady by the name of
Barbara Hart saying that she is my
mother
and that she wanted to talk to Pam talks
about whatever I don't even know and I
just want to let you know that me and
Pam talked privately and we settled the
situation Pam does not want to be
involved in anything which I completely
a you know I agree with her and I
respect her for that
it gave me a Mac chance to talk amongst
each other about past things that have
happened between me and her allowing me
and Pam to talk and be able to put a lot
of things to rest what happened in the
past and be able to move forward and not
continue to have those things in between
us so if anything it worked out for the
best but I just want to let everybody
know that whatever was going on it was
just more drama trying to be striked up
that didn't need to be striked up and
Pam smashed it real quick and put that
one to sleep so enough of that I was
wanting to share a story with you guys I
was sitting there last night and I was
thinking back about this story that I
heard a while while back a few
months ago and you know it really goes
in to kind of where I'm at in my life
and where what place I guess you could
say mentally where I'm at and trying to
be accepting of the person that I am and
be them the best that I can be for
myself so there's a story that I was
reading a while back and it's about a
father that worked on a farm our sorry
not worked on a farm worked for a
garbage company and he did he picked up
garbage that was his job and as I was
reading this story he was explaining how
every night he would stop off at a truck
company and like a truck stop company
where they have like you can for a
quarter I think it is you could take a
shower so every night before he would go
home he would go and take a shower and
wash himself completely before he went
home and the reason for that beam was
because he had a son that looked up to
him and he had a wife that so loved him
and he felt like he was a failure
because he was a garbage truck man
rather than something that maybe he
thought he needed to be better of to
have his wife approve of him or not have
his son be embarrassed of the type of
job that his father did to support his
family and so one day a few months later
his wife was out running errands and
she's seen him working and she all the
time had thought that he worked in a law
company now his job he made very very
very good money so it wasn't the aspect
of not making enough money he made
enough money so the wife followed behind
for
many miles watching this garbage truck
man and the man being her husband she
stayed enough links behind where the
husband couldn't see her but that she
could see him and she kept asking
herself like why would he lie to me why
would he not tell me the truth and at
first she was actually taking it more
personally that maybe he was doing
something wrong that he didn't want her
to know so she was angry she kept asking
herself is there something that he's
doing that he doesn't want me to know so
she went home and a few hours later he
came home you know dressed in his you
know his suit attire and you know clean
shaven and his hair put together and she
didn't say anything but she had made a
dinner and on the dinner she when she
was putting the dinner together all she
could think about was you know what was
the reason and for him to lie and to not
want to be truthful about this whole job
experience that he was working through
and so when he she made the dinner and
she served it to him she served it to
him on a paper plate his drink was
served in a paper cup his utensils were
plastic and he really didn't think much
about it but it was kind of weird he
said that his wife was serving him with
recyclable items but he didn't think
anything more about it
because they normally would use dishes
so a little bit later on she asked him
do you see the theme of how I served
your dinner to you and he was like no
when he started looking around the food
and he's like mm I I'm not I nothing's
making sense like what am I supposed to
be looking for and at this point their
son was not
around he had eaten his dinner and left
the table and she said well all of these
items can be something that help pay
bills and he looked at her and he was
like what are you talking about and
she's like I know something that you
didn't want me to know
and he looked deep into her eyes like
almost as if she was carrying sorrow
because she felt so let down by him not
feeling like he could be honest and she
said I seen you today I seen you working
and I know that you don't work at the
law office I know that you work at the
garbage company and she said that his
face became so empty and he just dropped
his head and looked down there was no
emotion
it was just like his life just went out
from him and she said why why have you
lied to me all these years about the job
that you worked and he said I couldn't
be honest with you and she said why and
he said because I know that I wanted to
make you proud
and telling people that your husband's a
garbage man isn't a very flattered
flattering job and she looked at him and
she said it's not about the job it's
about the fact that you get up every day
and you go to work and you support our
family and you supply for every one of
our needs that we need and more that is
what makes a real man not by what he
does and he said well we can't let their
son know we can't let him know we can't
let him know and we don't want to let
his friends know and she said but why
and he said because I want to make him
proud of me and so it just the
story went on to say that you know he
didn't want his son to basically be made
fun of that his father is a garbage
truck driver or that he works for the
garbage company he didn't want his wife
to feel ashamed to say that her husband
worked for a garbage company and in the
at the end of the the night all she
could say is your job is what makes you
a man
you get up you support our family it
doesn't matter what you're doing you're
taking responsibility and that's what's
most important
and your son would be so proud of you to
know that you are a garbage driver you
know that you pick up garbage for a
living he would probably be more excited
to know that his daddy works on a
garbage truck because boys love daddy's
working on a garbage truck they're
fascinated with garbage trucks and their
friends would think it's probably
absolutely awesome there's no there's no
room to be ashamed of what you're doing
in life you know there are things in
life that we do that maybe we don't
think would be the best visual thing for
someone to see or maybe not make the the
you know the person that we thought most
proud and you know I I'm doing what I
want to do which is being a stay-at-home
mom and doing my youtube channel and I
am darn proud of doing those things but
I don't ever want my children to look
back and be like well I wish my mom
would have done this or I wish my mom
would have done that I want them to
always be 100 percent proud of me and in
reality I believe my children will be I
think that they will accept everything
that I've done I want them to be proud
of me I want them to see that I am
taking my health seriously
because I don't want my children to be
made fun of because their mama is a big
woman or I don't want which I know is
not the you know I know this isn't the
case because he has reassured me of that
but I don't want my husband to ever be
ashamed to walk next to me because of my
size I don't want those things but I
have to change these actions so that I
can live up to what I want to be seen
for and just like in this story he had
everybody believing that he was working
at the law field and reality he was
driving a garbage truck an absolute 100%
split different job money was the same
but the jobs were totally different and
he even went as far as to stop every
night and shower just to come home and
look as if he just came home from the
office because that's what he wanted his
family to see because he thought that's
what was going to be acceptable and to
learning to accept yourself right where
you're at
and learning to meet goals that you can
meet and know that you're doing the best
that you can that's all that matters
you trying to be someone that you're not
will never ever ever ever get you to
where you where you want to be so being
yourself and showing people who you
really are is the only thing that you
can do I have people sometimes question
me and say Amy's not the person she says
she is she's scandalous she's a scammer
she's this she's that
you know she's a liar she's a criminal
but in reality at the end of the day I
Know Who I am and that's all that
matters I am showing everybody who I am
some will accept it and some won't but
the ones that will accept it are the
ones that truly love me and support me
and want to be around with me the ones
that don't they don't matter
same as the garbage truck driver the
ones that support him and love him
unconditionally they're the ones that
are going to matter at the end of the
day
what their feelings are not the ones
that would be you know making him feel
bad for the job that he had or you know
making his wife feel ashamed of the job
that hit her husband does or making you
know their children feel bad because
they're being made fun of by certain
people those people shouldn't matter
their feelings shouldn't matter it
should only be about the ones that love
and accept you for what you are and what
you can do and what you are you know
achieving in life now not what they want
you to do because at the end of the day
you can't do what everybody wants you to
do you have to do what's going to be
best for you and right now I'm doing
what's best for me you know I'm living
life I'm running my channel I am taking
care of my kids I am you know focusing
on my health and I have had to put some
things to sleep which would be my cup
making and doing my you know my shirts
and things like that as hard as it is
and the things that I want to do right
now I know what needs to be done and I
have to accept where I'm at right now
and little by little maybe I can add
more into it but it's not it's not
something that just happens overnight
because I want it to be there so I know
that was a big ol spill of I don't know
what I hope it made sense to somebody
and then one more thing is I did see
quite a few comments of people saying
you know that I should known better with
the vet and stuff as I explained in that
video I have not ever taken a pet to a
vet before so I wasn't aware that there
were additional charges I didn't know I
didn't know vets where ran the same as
like a doctor's office I'm not saying
that they're not you know that they
don't have the right to charge those
things that I understand they need to be
paid for their services I get it but I
guess I was hoping that they would maybe
have put it out there a little bit
clear so that I knew where not coming in
okay this is what I'm being charged with
these are where the fees can kind of add
up so be aware on this column if you're
gonna be doing any of these things we
might be adding to your bill I guess
that's kind of where I was at because I
didn't know there's a base fee and then
we do little add-ons you know wherever
there needed to be like I said do I not
think that they need to be paid for all
their services absolutely if I brought
my skunk in to get his toenails clipped
absolutely I would believe in having
myself charged but I didn't ask for his
toenails to be clipped is it safer to
have somebody do the clippings that know
what they're doing
absolutely but I would have liked to
known that I was gonna be charged for
that not that I didn't think it needed
to not be charged if I'm making myself
more clear and no I'm not saying that
you know they were wrong for the amount
that they charged I was more blown away
because I budgeted a certain amount and
when I went in to have the services done
that I thought we're gonna be done and
then there was like additional fees
added and thrown in there it just threw
me off and I didn't even catch it I mean
I caught it but I didn't catch until I
left and really sat down and was like
looking at my film and I'm like but you
know it is what it is it's a learning
experience you know I think everybody
has to learn somewhere and I'm learning
now what it is to take an animal to the
vet I'm not complaining I know that
animals need to go to the vet I know
they need to have their shots that's the
responsible part about having an animal
I get it I'm not saying that it's wrong
I'm just saying I wish it was more clear
before I had all those services done so
I knew what I was getting into on my
payments so with that I'm going to close
now I hope you guys had a wonderful
start to your guyses week and I will
check in with you guys tomorrow is
always day off so I'm sure we have a lot
of errands
- do I have a doctor's appointments my
six-week checkup with my IUD so we'll
make sure that that's still where it's
supposed to be and talk to my OB about
you know everything make sure that
everything's going in the right
direction with that but other than that
I don't know what we have in store but
we just have things just business stuff
I guess to get done so I might or might
not be able to bring you guys along for
that but if not I'll see you guys in the
next video talk to you guys later bye
bye